The program, I asked three fundamental questions where am I… Where do wanna go?
And how do I get there?
And so in that program, we helped the guys determine the answers to those questions in the seven years, is that like… And so in the book, what I do is I describe a out that process for folks in various walks of black, and so if you don’t know where you are financially, then let’s figure out where you want and where you wanna go, and then draw a math on how to get there.
Welcome back to The prospecting show. Today is June 9th, and we have Kyle at Gillette. How are you?
I’m doing well.
Awesome, so before we get into things, one of the things I wanna recap here for people who are gonna listen this episode is you have a book called Life Map, and I actually got a copy that on Amazon recently and started reading it, so maybe you can give us in some background of how you got to Life Map, your past, your background, and everything leading up until when you wrote the book.
Yeah, so in 2001, I remember sitting in one of those high-backed executive chairs in my apartment, and I was just getting ready to graduate from college.
And my buddies and I had gone on a hike in on this mountain, and we decided to take a short cut, and the short cut was of course covered in poison oak, and by the time we got into it, we finally realized that we were… What stripe through a poison oak and I had shorts and a T-shirt.
So I’m sitting there at my desk after this had happened, and I’m covered in postal literally from my ankles, so my head… And I was a little bit lost and confused as it relates to what I was gonna do after college, and I was thinking about personal training, I was kind of open to pretty much anything, but I was it she and irritated and frustrated with life.
And it was, it’s like this representation of where what… So you fast forward a few weeks and I entered in the… And one of the guys on that trip suggested that I talked to the president and the executive director of this man’s mentoring program, and he said that I should interview for a position there, it was a position where you live in the house with these guys that are alive, a little bit off track, and they’re struggling in their lives and they’re trying to get themselves in a better place, and so I said, Yeah, that sounds interesting. And I went to this farm house in the middle of the county and goes about 20 acres, the farm houses, this beautiful white farm house, and as you walk up to it, you go out these cement steps, I go up to the front door and I’m like, What am I doing here now?
What am I doing? And I walk in, I’m greeted by two dudes, big smiles, are happy to see me and shake hands and then sit down on this couch, and the interview is maybe 30 minutes or so, and part way through the interview, I’m feeling pulled, just pulled into this couch, I belong there, it was just… It was that feeling, that intuitive feeling that you belong somewhere, and by the time I interview was over, they asked me if I wanted the job, which is a normal scenario, but I knew that I did, and so I accepted the job on the spot, and ultimately, what happened is, this program is the heart of life, man, because the program ask three fundamental questions, where am I where to wanna go? And how do I get there?
And so in that program, we help the guys determine the answers to those questions in the seven years of the life, and so in the book, what I do is I describe a out that process for folks in various walks of life, and so if you don’t know where you are financially, then let’s figure out where you are and the more you want to go, and then draw a map on how to get there, and then the same thing with your physical health, your ed education, so and so forth.
And so when I left that ministry, when I left that program, after 10 years of being there, I decided that it was time to share that tool, share that information with other people, so the book is the result of that time that the stories of being there in my life experiences and is the desire to share that wisdom with the people outside of the program, and do you think that there’s a lot of different books out there of people’s stories and kind of self-help books and working through different problems at piece of this book do you think is the most important or the most valuable as you wrote it and feedback you got in on the people, What piece do you think is the most important as… I think it’s because it’s very practical, so throughout the book, at end of every chapter, there’s questions that make you think to move you forward in whatever area that chapters focused on, so it makes it really think about How am I actually doing in my relationships, and then you answer a set of questions, you can run it down or you can just think about them, and this automatically creates progress for the individual, even if you only make progress in one area of life that matters and it moves people forward. Additionally, I have a work book that makes it even more intense or more… Or purposeful.
And so you put those two together and you’re guaranteed progress, you’re guaranteed to be able to answer those bigger questions, which is, Where am I… Where do I wanna go? And how do I get there?
So I’m a very practical person, and so I try to write books, try to write content, create vines that are very practical that you can immediately apply and see results pretty quickly, and then… Big results over time.
Yeah, and that is actually probably the biggest shortcoming of other books, there’s a lot of books and courses, info-products that talk about high level techniques, high level concepts, but they don’t really talk about implementation of that into your life or your business or whatever it is you’re flying it to… So I think that that’s hugely beneficial for the people who don’t really know the story about you, what was the next step after life met.
Yeah, so my wife and I realized that we were far away from my parents and her parents, and that we didn’t want our kids to be going to school in the city we were living in.
Unfortunately, we were living in one of the greatest cities in the world, which is sales, Obispo, California, which is gorgeous. Amazing, but it just wasn’t gonna be great because my parents were four hours away and her parents were 19 hours away, and so we had to decide what to do. And eventually we decided to move up to Washington State. And when we made that move, I said in my heart, I said, If I’m gonna be done with this program, if I’m gonna be done helping these people in this way, I wanna have an even deeper and bigger impact as I step into this new life chapter, and so from that became this little burning inside of me to use the content from Life Map, to use the content from that process and be able to share it with business owners in a way that was applicable to them, ’cause it’s not about… It’s about the business aspect versus the life aspect, but honestly, we can’t… Come on with phones, we can’t get away from the business, we can’t get away from the life aspect as we run our businesses, so that was kind of the catalyst for me, I wanted to have an even deeper impact, and whether you’re sele pre-Nur or a small business owner, you have a lot of people’s lives that you touch, and if you get your life and balance, if you get your business in a place where it’s growing… Then I get to be a part of that and I get to change the world to the people that are changing the world, and that’s kind of my mission in my life, and so we… That’s the path that has gotten me to kind of where I am at this point… Yeah, to have that introspection or that reflection on what you’ve done in your life and what you’re trying to do, that’s actually a pretty high level skill, right. A lot of people don’t act, take the time to step back and look at what they’re doing and reflect on why they’re doing it, it’s a very difficult skill to have, and I think the fact that you’re able to do that is pretty useful. Where do you see other people as they’re doing, looking into their lives and try to figure out what they’re gonna do next, where do you see most people getting caught or stuck, people do… Everybody’s heard this term before, but it’s analysis paresis.
People think and think and think, and research and research, it’s so easy to go online and research anything and everything, and so some people research the point where they wrap themselves up into some anxiety, some people research their themselves to the point where they can’t make a decision because they see way too many options, and so I think that if we can take these little steps and move forward and these little tiny steps, even as we do the research, that’s where people get stuck. So I think that when you take the time to step back and reflect and look at your life from a very practical standpoint, it gives you the opportunity to not get into that analysis paralysis and actually make some for progress even if it’s small, because it’s still… For progress, it’s still that momentum that helps you get moving, and do you think that that is just really coming with an idea, execute and then learn from it, is that kind of the process that you’d recommend going through them so that people don’t do all of that analysis component.
Yeah, I think it’s a concurrent thing you can do simultaneously where you’re still doing the research, but don’t let that analysis stop you from taking some actions, some people don’t do any analysis, and that’s a problem in of itself too. I lean more in that direction, and so I need people to keep accountable to do more analysis instead of just taking action, but there’s a balance, there’s this balance and the better you know yourself and where you lean, the more you can find people to help keep you accountable and support you to push you in the other direction, so for me, I need people to keep accountable to do a little bit more investigation before I just take action, and then they… Obviously, there’s the opposites.
And when we do this, growth happens, period, it just does, it has to because you’re taking action, and even if you fail in that action, it’s okay because you’re learning from that and growing from that, and the failure is still experienced that ultimately will be beneficial no matter how big or small that failure is… Yeah, and I think the other part too is like how quickly can you recover from the failure… Right, it’s one thing to have a failure, have multiple failures, whatever it is, but it’s like How quickly can you recover from it in whatever aspect of your life that it’s affecting, and then also how quickly can you learn and re-execute on some new level, and I think those are both really difficult things to do, but let’s talk a little bit about the sage leadership, ’cause I’m sure there’s some pieces in there in with what we’re talking about right now.
Let’s talk a little bit about what SAGE leadership is and kinda how you brought that together… Yeah, I think to tie into what we’re talking about before and to bring it to what you’re asking now, in 2016, I wrote that Life Map book, and then I tried to run a life coaching business and that failed, and then I tried to run after that, I tried to run a personal training business, an online training business, where I offered specific customized workouts to people that they would request of me, and that failed too. So though I failed in those windows, it opened the door for me to know exactly what I really wanna do, and it taught me a ton of things, so I’ve experienced those big failures of experience taking action and then not working out, but I’m still around things that still worked out for me. This business is going well. There’s a lot of things that I gained from that, and I think that that’s the fear part that we have to overcome, and so as I went to those failures, I realized that my target was wrong, I realized that what I really wanted to do was to tie into businesses directly, I really wanted to help businesses and specifically the leaders of those businesses, and in order to do that, I wanted my own model, I wanted my own framework because then it would come from me, and it could be very natural and it could be very… Heart-centered and people would know they’re getting something that’s from me, that’s out of my experience, but also very practical and research, so this came at an interesting time ’cause I had been pretty broken by the second failure of a small business, I run four… And the first one succeeded, the two in the middle, I failed, and now this one succeeding, so I have the failure sandwich going on here, and I knew I wanted to have some sort of a framework that would be easy for people to remember, and so I was working on it, coming up with weird acronyms, ’cause I love acronyms or memorable, trying to figure out what my values were, what I could speak to, and it took months. But I remember waking up in the middle of 9, 300 in the morning, and I got the word self-awareness, and I went, Oh my gosh, that’s it. So I hopped out a bed, grabbed a dependent paper and spent four hours just writing out the beginnings of what SAGE is, and from there, it’s kinda evolved into much more than what I wrote down initially, but that’s kind of the heart of how it started, and so where do you see the differences between stage and Life Map? I know there’s this chronologically, wrote the book and then you kind of progressed through the business, how the two failures and then kind of came back out of the sage, but what is the anchor point between those two concepts, the book and the sage leadership that kinda crosses over between the top… Yeah, 100%. It’s those three primary questions, Where am I in this case, primarily in business, where I wanna go in my business and how am I gonna get there? So my coaching a shifted toward, let me help you figure out where you are in your business. And with that comes where you are as a a person, of course, and then where do we wanna go with your business and what does it look like to get you there… Right, So stages of life map 20 or Life Map on steroids, because it not only was Life Map about answering key questions about where you are in life, but it didn’t dive nearly as deeply into what are the behavioral mindsets that you have, what are your self-limiting beliefs, which is that self-awareness piece, what accountability do you have in your life? So that you can actually pull this off. What’s the support? Who in your life, if you wanna be surrounded by 89 and 10s in your life, who’s in your life right now that’s gonna elevate you to that level, and who can you surround yourself with, right?
And then the growth mindset, or do you have a fixed or a growth mindset, because life map touched on questions related to heres of life, but I didn’t get into the thinking, I didn’t get into the behaviors and… And then of course, lastly is the empowerment piece, which is all about allowing yourself to step away and use situations and people and automation and tools to empower you in your business to next levels, so it really amplified the concepts behind life by answering those three questions, but did it in a way that’s much more rooted in the person, ’cause we talk about values and we talk about habits and those types of things. So I think that’s why I like to call it life map 20.Yeah, it’s… It’s interesting to see a progression between different ideas, I think there’s a lot of people who start off as entrepreneurs, they have an idea, that idea doesn’t work, they transition that idea into something else and it continuously progresses, they might seem like they’re two or four totally different ideas, but kind of what I hear from you is that the biggest thing is you’re looking for impact, it’s like how can I diagnose the issue that people are having at hand, how can I figure out where they’re gonna go and then give them the steps to be able to get there, whether that’s through life map or the workbook or through Sage, ring that, but it seems like your vision is very much like, How can I get people to their goals, what is the piece of that work that you’re doing that you find most exciting? What gets you going every day.
For me, it’s every single time I’m on a coaching call, I had one yesterday where this gentleman, he realized that he’s starting this new program, you’re starting this new process, and as he went to pursue it in his mind, he was already letting himself off the hook, he was already giving himself permission to quit, and so we dove into that and discovered that this is a pattern, a consistent pattern for him, and he starts something and he has great… He has an attitude of going after it, and he does, but then has the behavior of quitting. So that other half of the coin or the other half of process, he’s had a pattern of a stopping, and so helping him to see that was completely eye-opening for him, and now his approach to this new thing he’s pursuing is gonna be completely different, ’cause now he knows that he can’t quit ’cause he’s put it out there, and having those type of insights on a consistent basis with my client is what gets me to get on the phone, to be on to have those conversations because that’s gonna pay dividends for the rest of his life… And you can’t even put a number on the value of that, but it can’t have a number on it, which is cool too, because when he finishes this program, it’s gonna open up crazy possibilities for him.
So that’s really motivating for me, and that happens frequently to get that deeper insight, which unlocks all kinds of potential for people. Yeah, and where do you see, now that you’ve had more experience with matching the two programs like sage and life map and having people go through that different mindset change, what do you see the future of what you’re doing? What do you think it’s gonna be? Is it one-on-one coaching, is it group consulting, is it writing more books, is it info products, where do you see yourself really going over the next maybe 10 years with everything you put together… Yeah, I kinda have a plan mapped out in my mind for what that looks like, and some of it’s written out, but my heart is the one-to-one working with people, and because there’s something about having that guide, having that person at your side that supports you and keeps you accountable and calls you on your crap that says, You know what, you said you’re gonna do this and you didn’t, and done in a way that’s with empathy and shows them that you care and move them forward. So there’s that piece, but realistically, I can’t do that forever, ’cause there’s only one version of me and there’s Holly… Sure, so much time in a day. So another piece of that is writing that book, so every time I interview someone on my podcast, I record it, of course, and then I transcribed what they’ve said, and then from what they’ve said, I’m adding some of the key gold mine pieces into my book and the intention is to walk people through those three questions in my book, using the insights that these so-openers and business owners are sharing with me on the podcast, so that you can get the wisdom of the hundreds of people that I’ve been talking to in a book. So that’s a big piece of the equation. And then group coaching is another piece, but one of the other things that I’ve really enjoyed creating is I have a whole course on the age mindset, so people walk through a 10-week course that takes them through these 10 different lessons that helps them to unlock that potential to realize these things about themselves to create that accountability, so and so forth. So it’s a scaling of a lot of those things, and it’s also a different iterations of those things, because right now what I have isn’t perfect and never will be, but as I work with more people and as it takes shape, as I get input from them, the product and services are gonna get better and better, so I really see this group coaching in this course work tied into the book being the path that I’m on, cause this is a passion of…
Sage is a big piece of my value, so it’s a passion for me, so I’m never gonna let it go, so let’s shape it up so that’s most beneficial for the most people.
Yeah, and what would you say the biggest piece of advice you could give… Now you’ve done the sage and put it all together and you’ve been, like you said, you have all these conversations with people through your podcast and probably through the book and coaching and some of the sales calls you done in all these different pieces. What do you think the number one piece of unlocking that flat mindset, of that fixed mindset, what is the piece of advice that you give to people say like, Listen, if you change this one thing, it’s gonna have more impact than anything else.
Yeah, I think that the visual I wanna give people is, if you think about your potential, if you think about what you have to offer as this locomotive, you have your skills, your talents or gifts, and they are all on that locomotive.
And what happens is people get to this place of low confidence, what… They get to this place of, I don’t believe I have enough experience to move forward in this, and it’s that proverbial brick on the track or that wall and a track that they need to get through, what happens is, if they can just kick that break off, if they can take a little action, a lot of times that’ll kick the single little brick off the track and the train can move, but that one brick will stop a whole train for moving if it’s holding still and if it’s a wall, then it’s about finding a guide to help you take apart, that will take apart those things that are blocking you from taking action, and so the key piece is imperfect actions, because so many people get wrapped up, and I gotta take the perfect action to all the right research and be 100% confident this is what I should do.
You’re never gonna get there.
So what is that imperfect action you can take today, the sage mindset concept in my podcast is about what’s a little mindset shift or little behavioral shift you can make today, then we’ll create massive change for the rest of your life or for the future.
So having a conversation with someone about what you wanna do and that starts to build momentum, then do that, if that’s going for it and picking up that phone and calling that person, then do it if that’s putting that product out there that do it, etcetera, etcetera. Whatever it is, take that imperfect action and get moving, because then you’re get momentum, and then when the next welcomes, you can bus right through it and it’s not a big deal, and then you have all these resources and talents and gifts that are on your train that now you get to bring to other people, ’cause if you’re just on the track, you can’t bring it anywhere, and so that’s how I see a big piece of what can be hugely beneficial for people to get going and make some progress and impact.
Yeah, and so to tie everything together and kinda wrap it up, ’cause they’re like, keep all these episodes short and really impactful, how should somebody reach out to find you… I know we got Life Map on Amazon that people can go out there and purchase it directly from Amazon, but if they wanted to learn more about Sage leadership one-on-one chatting with you, what is the best way for these people to reach… Use directly.
Yeah, go to solutions dot com, and at the bottom, I have a little form you call out to connect with me. That’s a great way to do it. There’s a lot of different ways you can get to me, but that’s one of them. And obviously, you can listen to my podcast, age mindset podcast, it’s on all the different channels, but yeah, the conversation, the one-to-one conversation over them or the phone is wonderful, so get solutions dot com is your best bet to get a hold of me.
Awesome, well, I really pre-cite you coming on the show and sharing your background, the book, your story, the programs you have in place now in your experiences… Super wonderful. Anyone who’s looking for a good read here in myself and reading Life Map right now, just getting started with it, so check it out on Amazon and thanks a lot for me on the ship.
Yeah, thanks for the opportunity, I appreciate it.
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